


A Surprise Visit

by theblindtorpedo



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, can be read as slashy if you want, hank and dermott both think they're super smooth, momma fictel laying down the law
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblindtorpedo/pseuds/theblindtorpedo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hank thinks it's about time Dermott meets Destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Surprise Visit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jougetsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jougetsu/gifts).



There was a loud knocking coming from outside

"Get the door." The spatula was pointed menacingly in his direction.

"Mom, I'm working!"

"Working, hah! Your sister off serving assholes at that shithole of a diner just to bring enough money home to support a family of three and me, here, slaving over a stove so I can put food on the table for an ungrateful young man. Don't talk to me about working."

"Fine, I'll do it! Just shut up already."

The knocking had been going on for a while and it was really annoying, so Dermott shuffled out of his room, slamming the door. From the kitchen his mother glared at him. Why couldn't Nikki have come home to cook dinner instead? He always liked when Nikki was home. She was nicer to him. She gave him a candy bar before dinner, she let him play his music late at night, she sewed together the clothes he tore on his "rampages," and she especially never made him answer the door.

But Nikki wasn't here.

Lame.

He threw open the door.

"There's no one even freakin' here!"

"Well maybe they left 'cause they could feel your bad attitude comin' straight at them."

"Whatever." He stomped back to his room, seriously pissed off. He had been so ready to give whoever disturbed his super important nun chuck practice a personal demonstration, but now all that feral energy was boiling under his skin and he could not be held accountable for what might happen. And it totally only was because he was still thinking about the lucky pussy who ran away from the door that he didn't notice someone else was in his room until a hand had pulled the door shut. And he was suddenly backed up against the door facing chest to tits with a lady dressed all in golden metal. But no way it could be real gold. That shit's expensive. Then again all these superhero and villain guys also seemed to have money coming out the wazoo and they never had to even lift a garbage bag ever. Except Hank cause Doc still made him do chores anyways, hah. Oh man Hank is gonna be so jealous. And he'd only be half lying when he'd tell Hank that he had a chick in his room and they definitely made out and stuff.

What actually happened was that Dermott swallowed nervously, letting out an elegant "Uhhh, hey." But who could blame him for being a bit startled; this lady looked totally badass. Like she could actually fuck you up, not like those other costumed dweebs around the Venture Compound. It was smart to play nice. She seemed to smile at his greeting, although he could not see her mouth. Her eyes were kinda buggy, but also pretty when she maybe-smiled. And somehow familiar, but he didn't have time to think about it as she retreated back to lie on the bed. One hand came to prop her head up, the other landing on a bent knee, like one of those fold outs in the magazines they'd found under Doc's bed.

He came and sat on the edge of the bed, turning his head to stare down at her.

"So did you come in through the window?"

She nodded.

"Sweet. That is so ninja."

She turned her head coyly and he grinned at her, all teeth. Never have it said that Dermott Fictel couldn't be smooth when he wanted to.

"So why're you here anyway?" he continued, "Am I recruited for some top secret mission. I hope you're not with those losers Hank's always blabbing about cause they are totally gay and-"

Suddenly the helmet was off and a familiar blond Venture was staring at him indignantly.

Dermott called what he did next a deliberate move to swipe Hank off his bed and Hank would later call it confused flailing.

"Get off my bed!" he yelled. Not like Hank didn't sit on his bed sometimes but they had been sitting super close and dudes just didn't get that close unless they were about to fuck each other. Hank complied by somersaulting off the bed, landing on bent knee on the floor. Helmet still tucked under one arm he rose proudly, other hand on his hip.

"Show off."

"Sphinx is not gay!"

"Says the guy who's wearing a . . . what even is that? Don't tell me you have tits under there!"

"It's a strength suit and, no, but I don't need to! I am all powerful! I am embracing my inner woman!" He pivoted so Dermott could fully admire the suit.

"I guess it's pretty cool. And I mean gay things can be badass too. Like that fat magic guy who shot lightning bolts at those fly things at your lame-ass prom. And," he smirked, "like Brock who is totally in love with your old man."

"Yeah, Brock!" Hank's brows scrunched up as he registered the meaning of the words and Dermott smirked as his eyes grew wide with understanding. "Hey-"

"Dermott! Dinner!"

"Coming! Look man you gotta go."

Hank's face fell.

"What are you gonna do puppy eyes on me you know that totally doesn't work. Look I'll sneak out tonight and come see you."

"Fine, but hurry up! I want to show you all the cool stuff this suit can do!"

"Okay just get out of here before Mom throws a fit."

Dermott pulled the window open and Hank quickly slipped out, turning one last time to look at his friend.

"And dude, I totally know you don't have a curfew. So just tell your mom you're going to meet a friend."

Then the eldest Venture winked and disappeared into the night.


End file.
